A word from Miriam:
I met Ferree through her blog. I was encouraged by her determination to be patient and see the positives, the seeds of joy that were watered by her tears. Her popular blog has encouraged thousands. Thank you, Ferree, for letting us share your story.
The Day Life Changed Forever
Ten years ago this very day I woke up thinking it’d be like any other day, but I was a widow by suppertime. It’s hard to believe it’s been ten years. On one hand it seems like only yesterday, on the other it’s like a lifetime.
I was in the kitchen making a salad for supper.
“When’s dinner?” Bruce asked.
It was one of the few times everyone was home without any activities lined up. I told him we could have dinner whenever he wanted. He was happy to hear that because he wanted to do some weight-lifting and have the evening to relax after supper. He gave me a hug–a deep, send-my-soul-to-the-stars sort of hug. It wrapped around eternity and intertwined bright pink, green and yellow sparkles and spirals all around me. I loved my husband, my kids, my life . . . Bruce went down to the basement, and I heard a strange yell from him a few minutes later. When I went to see what he wanted I found him laying straight out on the floor – like he was playing a joke on me.
But it wasn’t a joke. My kids called 911. The ambulance came. The police came. They sent us upstairs. They carried Bruce out on a stretcher . . . a doctor met us in that “Quiet Room” at the hospital. (Don’t ever go in there).
Life changed forever that day. Widowhood was nothing like I expected. The pain was so deep it was frightening; and then it went deeper still, to a place where tears watered tiny, shriveled up seeds of joy and strength. Did you know they grow best when buried in total darkness? When you can’t see them, can’t imagine they’ll ever appear, God stirs these seeds to life deep within.
And now I host a blog called Widows Christian Place. We talk about the day it happened, the darkness, the seeds of faith that look pretty measly, the strength, and the joy. Plus the practical realities and the help available to deal with “the new normal.” Everyone is welcome. Some widows use it for a few weeks or months; others become long-time friends and join “Lifeboat,” my Facebook group.
Miriam, now when I look back at all the Lord had in store, I can honestly say that the unbelievable pain of widowhood cut deep furrows of joy and knowledge of Heaven in my heart. God’s Word has been my strong medicine and strength, the most unlikely of His people have been sources of grace and support, and God’s leading and perfect timing still work today in my own life and the lives of the many widows I’ve met.
I firmly believe in life after death: eternal life for followers of Christ in Heaven, and a new life for the widow. God has each widow here for a purpose, and it thrills me to help widows discover, blossom and grow as the Lord unfolds His goodness to them. Life is worth living! Even though it can change forever in an instant, God is in control; His mercies are new every morning! Great is His faithfulness—even in the dark.