Don’t say

I’ve compiled 7 tips to help widows.  Things to say and not say, to do and not do.  A recent young widow added some wise words to my list.  Here are  her “don’t say” thoughts.

“I know just how you feel.”  Reality?  Nobody walks exactly in another’s shoes.  Those words will distance you from your grieving friend, rather than comfort them.

“These things come in threes.”  Ee-gads!  Do we really want to hear that more disaster is on the way?

“Are you going to sell your house?”  Advice:  don’t share your advice on decisions.  Yes, “zip it” is wise, until you are specifically asked for input.

My suggestion:  focus on their need rather than what you feel good saying.  That hurting person welcomes your silence and a hug more than words can say.

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