Honoring someone you love(d)
September 21, 2017
I’m often asked by a widow or widower who has remarried, “How do I honor my first husband, or my first wife.” Its complicated. Sometimes our new spouse feels offended, or that the new relationship is Less, rather than just different.
I advise setting aside that day without your current spouse, an anniversary, a birthday, or some significant day, to honor and grieve your first spouse alone. You might go to a special place you enjoyed together. Some invite one of their children, or close friend.
One remarried widow took her two children and her first husbands mother to the gravesite. She did not include her current husband. Hard, yet, it was not about him and he honored her request. She needed to grieve, still, and honor her first husband.